floweranza: (arashi nino pic.)
[personal profile] floweranza
Posting from dreamwidth! Is this the beginning of something new and epic? :D

First of all: (probably) dumb Arashi-related question! Where do those little sketches of the members come from - I think Ohno did them? With the appropriate amount of attention paid to Sho's buckteeth? SOLVED! ♥

Next: I should really be packing, considering that I have to move out in two weeks and somehow leave some things here while I'm in New Jersey for the summer. God. Don't want to. Ahh!

Cue procrastination.


Unearthed this from under a pile of stuff that had been on my desk. It's actually really cute. I remember feeling kind of bad about myself after I spent 10 dollars on it in New York, though. (POODLE HAIR ATTACKS)


Then I saw this and didn't feel bad anymore. ;D


This morning. Not doing anything. Rebelling against the idea of doing anything. I imagine this is a >:| face.


You know... still not doing anything. Laughing at [personal profile] ferinough's hilarious potato chip battle, who knows. I should be writing a paper.


My mess of a desk. (...that's a fuzzy elephant plushie. If anyone was wondering.)


More mess. How am I gonna get that cabinet outta there? Ahhh!


My wallpapers rotate, but I like this one. ♥

Next, round 2: I was pretty excited about this fic for a while. Then I realized that my motivation on working on it was 0 and, more importantly, it was more contrived than most badfic. D: SHAME ON MEEE. But some scenes are-- well-- not bad, and I'll just paste them here and say goodbye to that story. (Totally unbetaed and totally fail if you knew what the context of this was. V_V)

---

"Nino!"

It's the stark disappointment on Sho's face that finally causes Nino to turn on his heel and walk out the door. He can't handle it. He walks right past the manager, who calls after him, and as soon as he's out the lobby he starts running to the train station. On the train he sits with his face down and shadowed under a cap, his shoulders shaking. He walks right past his mother in the kitchen. It’s the first time in his life that his brain isn’t processing everything around him, completely blank.

He sits down on his bed and buries his face in his hands.

He can't remember how he got home and when sleep comes, it's a relief.

*

Nino wakes up to someone shaking him lightly. He was warm but now he's confused, because it is four in the morning and Aiba is sitting by his bedside. Consciousness smacks back into him, along with irritation and stress and a slow recollection of yesterday's events.

Aiba-chan looks pale and wan. Something in Nino's chest thrums at the sight, but the kindness he's trying to find turns into sharpness before it comes out as speech. That's all that's been happening, lately.

"For fuck's sake, Aiba-chan. I'm too old to wake up to you guys coming to my house for a surprise visit. What are you doing here?"

Aiba is uncharacteristically still. "Your mother let me in. She's been worried about you, too."

"There's nothing to worry about! And if this is about what happened with Leader this afternoon, it's none of your business—“

Aiba reaches out and pulls Nino lightly, putting his head on Aiba’s shoulder. It’s that simple motion that makes Nino pause.

It’s quiet for some time. The only sound is Nino’s low breathing and the rustle of Aiba’s clothing as he slouches further in the chair.

“Was Sho-chan mad?” He meekly breaks the silence.

Aiba draws Nino back by his collar, so they can see each other clearly. He’s patting Nino’s back absentmindedly and the warmth seeps into the fabric. “Hmm. Well! I think he was tons more mad that you never went to talk to him.”

“… Oh.”

Nino looks down. There aren’t many people he respects. All his band mates, of course, and Sho especially. Sho, who is one of the best friends someone can have and someone so strong and steady that Nino has always treasured his approval.

“I left work, too.”

Aiba hums contemplatively. “Yep. That was pretty crazy.”

“I’ve never done that before. Were they mad?”

“We covered for you, somehow! I had a really great idea.”

Nino really doesn’t want to know what that was. “Oh.” Aiba’s presence has made his anger disappear. But now it’s a lot easier to remember that he acted unprofessionally, disappointed Sho and badly hurt Ohno all in one shot. Go me.

[insert stuff here that i never wrote lol]

*

He doesn't get to apologize for a few days. Their schedules are so busy that he doesn't even see Ohno and, not unusually, Nino stays home when he doesn't have to be somewhere. He feels tired. Nino knows what a good person Ohno is, what a weird, fantastic person he is, and he knows he will be forgiven for his harsh words.

But, undoubtedly, what they had before will be gone.

Even if Nino will still touch Ohno for the cameras, the easy understanding of two people who liked being alone in each other's company will be gone. Nino will be forgiven, because Ohno is a good man. But now that he's figured out what he wants, he will never get it.

He's ruined it.

Nino breathes in deep, burying his nose in his pillow. The dark surrounds him on all sides. He can't sleep.

WHYYYY SOOOO FAILZ. I need to go do stuff for real!
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Julia

May 2009

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